Nothing Tastes As Good As Thin Feels

A co-worker once told me, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels."

At the time I smiled and nodded in agreement... then proceeded to eat the cookie left on my lunch plate, thinking "Yeah, but this cookie is TASTY!"

That was 43 pounds ago. Added pounds.

In 2007-2008 I worked at an outdoor science and conservation camp. I hiked and taught science for a living. We lived 15 minutes from a tiny town and 30 from a town with a Target. Staff lived on campus and as a camps work--- we had 3 carbo-loaded meals a day. I ate A LOT. But I also burned A LOT. And my weight stayed at 200lbs. Fast forward to the end of my internship-- I moved home and continued to eat like I did at camp... except I wasn't moving like I was. Within a very short time I had gained A LOT of weight.

As I mentioned previously, my weight loss this time around began at 243, which is my highest weight to date. Since moving home my weight has fluctuated between 225 and 243...

I also need to mention a few other things: I have a lot of health issues and usually 1-2 weeks into starting a workout and healthy eating kick I get really sick and fall off the bandwagon. Getting sick is anything from a 3-week long cold, to a kidney infection, to strep throat, etc. It may seem like a normal thing-- for someone to get sick, but my body has a special way of kicking my butt. I've been to many doctors and have had diagnosis' from fibromyalgia to lupus and a few in between. Many symptoms point to lupus, and a few other disorders, but doctors don't want to give a wrong diagnosis so it can take ages to pinpoint one. Anyhow, my current Dx is fibro... which, I think is a bit of a cop-out Dx, but that's another story.

Anyhow, the point is that I have made it THREE weeks without quitting or getting sick. Somehow I feel like saying that jinxes me.

I hope not.

So... having "fibro" or, whatever I have (which tends to seem like an autoimmune disorder since my body doesn't fight infection well)--- I have certain "symptoms" all the time. Like, I am always fatigued. I can sleep 5 hours or 15 and I am still EXHAUSTED. Joint pain is common and comes in waves and tends to kick my butt whether I am active or not. Working out really took a toll at first, but I'm finding that my knees are starting to hurt less when I workout... but that my ankles are constantly sore. But, I won't give up.

Part of me hopes that all this "sick" and fatigue and joint pain will get better if I lose weight and get healthier. If nothing else, I know that eating better makes me feel better.

Case in point. I've had fast food a couple times this week. Both times I kept within my calorie range, but after I ate I felt too full and "blah"... I HATE that feeling and I am starting to realize I use to feel that way ALL the time. What's funny, is that I don't crave fast food-- I crave the convenience.

Eating healthy is hard. Especially when you're busy. I am hoping to sit down and put together some meal plans this week and I hope to share some recipes and/or snack ideas each week. And don't forget, you can follow me and/or join me on My Fitness Pal I am "WarriorPrncss"

Fun fact: I use the handle "WarriorPrncss" because when I was 14 I had Kyphosis. (A severe forward curve of the spine. A hunchback, basically). My back was 88 degree forward and after 2 years of physical therapy they decided that only way to fix my back was surgery and while I was in the hospital my Grams kept a journal and continually referred to me as her "little warrior princess". Anyhow, they put in 2 titanium rods and multiple hooks and screws. Here are my before and after photos.

Big different, huh? I guess I should also mention... I've had A LOT of surgeries. 3 on my left knee and 1 on each elbow. I'm just a mess, aren't I? Just kidding. I don't like to dwell on that stuff-- it doesn't get me anywhere.

Here and now, I continue my journey keeping in mind that, the extra cookie I see isn't worth it. "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels" I guess I'll find out when I get there. For now I'm just On the Weigh Down.